If You Like Me Take Off Your Tattle
"But I couldn't find a way/So I'll settle for one day to believe in you/Tell me, tell me, tell me lies..." ("Little Lies", Fleetwood Mac)
Corvette was a camera programmer. Her hair was blond when we met. She had to look into my eyes to adjust face tracking. I took her to Electric Ladyland at the top of the Woodstock Building, where you can watch the weather engineering satellites go by.
At 9:33 she asked me what a life event engineer does.
“Let’s say you want to marry. Let’s say you have a 7 year old kid who is still uncertain about his career path. Let’s say you don’t know what car is Feng Shui with your property profile. Mundane Life Event Management applies sophisticated models to reduce risk, strain and cost of decision making.”
“It makes me uneasy”.
“Why?”
“I feel there is more to heaven and earth.”
“Superstition…”
“And I prefer to control my own fate.”
“Fate is Mundane. The rest is accident.”
“Please. I shot the ad”.
I took her hand as we strolled across Lovelock Plaza.
“So, you never know when you are being played. It’s like an arcane existence, where gods will randomly intervene.”
“Intervene to your benefit. It’s benign. Mundane organizes life patterns for millions. Fate engineering is the largest industry in the world.”
“But what about the rest of us? You also affect people outside.”
“Everybody affect everybody. I know we have a huge responsibility. That’s why we wear Tattle at work, just like stockbrokers. It’s automatically switched on at work. Many of us keep it on 24/7.”
“Yours is on right now?”
“Yes. I cannot lie to you.”
“How horrible… Do these pants make my butt look big?”
“Yes”.
“Do you love me?”
“I think I can love you."
“Or did someone compute it for you?”
“Either way I had a lovely time.”
“Me too… But was it real or staged?”
“Would you prefer it to be accidental?”
“Just answer me.”
“All employees subscribe to the program, but if this is designed I am unaware of it.”
She shuddered.
“I don’t think I can handle more realism today. If you like me, please take off your Tattle next time.”